238.

I think I have to stop pretending you are normal
that it is normal of us to have our bodies so close.
It is not.
It is spectacular.
We are the divine ingredients
for bliss.
For the sweet substance
that feeds the deep satisfying soul need of our existence.
My hands are finally still
my mind finally exhausted from worrisome thoughts
because you speak of a sparkling world
where each touch is momentous.
You only wait for me to
turn around
and give back with a kiss.
You’ve already said you’ll wait forever.

237.

I don’t know where we came from
you and I
from the cosmos?

236.

You ruffle my feathers.

I didn’t see it coming, did you?

235.

I think the main reason I like you
is because I feel like the first thing you see when you look at me
has nothing to do with my body.

234.

I inspire you
but I don’t know yet how
you won’t tell me.
But I have a feeling
it has to do
with you loving me.

233.

What if I let it be epic?
What if I let these be
real moments.

232.

I thought about it.
After the first one I fell for, I couldn’t
imagine anyone else.
So I carefully cataloged each memory of the first time we met and
the first time we saw each other so that later on I could write our love story
and it would be epic.
It was special.
But then it happened again, with someone else
and a few more times
until I realized, I had already loved
so many times
and they all seemed to have a piece of my heart
but none of them were the one in the end.

What if I wouldn’t have enough of my heart
to give the one in the end a piece?
And that is when I became careful.

Because if I could, I would
savor each moment slowly
with intense attention and sobriety –
as beholding a long-awaited treasure for the
first time.
That way I can recount our love story
like a hidden jewel of a novel that
I read beneath the covers on a stormy night.
Our warm-hearted secret.

231.

Maybe I want it so badly
to mean something, to be real,
to be intense and shake every
fiber of me.
And I imagine, I hope it will.
But I’m scared to push farther
and find out that it is not the ultimate.

I’m afraid I’ve over romanticized us
that I’ll find out
when we touch
it is just mundane.

230.

I think I’m more immature than I thought
for love wants to strip me
and I am still too modest
clinging to my clothes
trying to cover all my
soft spots-
the bruises that are
the buttons to my heart.

229.

I don’t ever want to get used to you.
That way every time I see you,
I will wonder if I’ll have the
pleasure of seeing you again.